Jorge Luis Morejon. USAforeigner performance piece. University of California, Davis.
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The following week, in class, she came in already prepped. I had been performing my “foreignness” through out campus for a week. Without looking into my eyes, as she was fixing her hair, in response to my performance, a sign across my forehead that read foreigner, an American passport hanging from my neck and brutally shorn hair, she sarcastically remarked:
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“Jorge, what a nice costume,” to what I answered:
“Jorge, what a nice costume,” to what I answered:
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“It is not a costume. It is a commentary. The time when people like me (meaning people perceived as the other by the dominant group) wore costumes is long gone.”
“It is not a costume. It is a commentary. The time when people like me (meaning people perceived as the other by the dominant group) wore costumes is long gone.”
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Our professor had walked out of the room. He had given us the forms for us to evaluate his performance during the Fall quarter. Referring to the sign on my forehead and in response to what I had said, she suggestively sneered:
Our professor had walked out of the room. He had given us the forms for us to evaluate his performance during the Fall quarter. Referring to the sign on my forehead and in response to what I had said, she suggestively sneered:
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“Why don’t you print it?,” meaning, why didn’t I print the letters stamped on my forehead on the evaluation form, to which I answered with conscious restrain of my actions and words in order not to provoke further polarization:
“Why don’t you print it?,” meaning, why didn’t I print the letters stamped on my forehead on the evaluation form, to which I answered with conscious restrain of my actions and words in order not to provoke further polarization:
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“If I wanted your advice, I would have asked you, but I rather do it my way. Thank you.”
“If I wanted your advice, I would have asked you, but I rather do it my way. Thank you.”
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I could feel the atmosphere was tense. Sitting around the oval table in the little room we had used for almost a whole semester, my classmates warily gazed at each other as our words battled. Instead of provoking a dialogue that moved her and the class towards an understanding of the implication of labeling someone as a foreigner, an uncomfortable silence permeated the group.
I could feel the atmosphere was tense. Sitting around the oval table in the little room we had used for almost a whole semester, my classmates warily gazed at each other as our words battled. Instead of provoking a dialogue that moved her and the class towards an understanding of the implication of labeling someone as a foreigner, an uncomfortable silence permeated the group.
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This episode has a special importance to me because it involves someone who is in preparation for teaching others. I am aware of the fact that we all to some degrees have poorly understood and not well thought out prejudices and misconstrued stereotypes, however my concern is that this interaction apparently brought no discernible self-awareness to this person. I have greater hope that my performance touched others in the class and on campus in a way that might get them to think about being active in a situation like this rather than being silent. Silence is a way to be complicit with social injustice, not only in the classroom, but in any situation.
This episode has a special importance to me because it involves someone who is in preparation for teaching others. I am aware of the fact that we all to some degrees have poorly understood and not well thought out prejudices and misconstrued stereotypes, however my concern is that this interaction apparently brought no discernible self-awareness to this person. I have greater hope that my performance touched others in the class and on campus in a way that might get them to think about being active in a situation like this rather than being silent. Silence is a way to be complicit with social injustice, not only in the classroom, but in any situation.
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Read similar stories in this link: http://www.expat-blog.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=568
3 comments:
I very much like your "USAForeigner" project and was sorry to see that the lesson was missed. I think part of the reason may be that she thought it was one off hand comment and not worthy of getting upset over... I don't think she would understand that it comes from a cumulative effect. It is not just her one comment, but many over the years, each one hitting home and sending a message of you are not part of this, you are not welcome, you do not belong here, you should go home and we don't care that you can't go home.
I wonder if there is a way to show this... maybe adding a new comment every day or something like that.
Most Americans never leave the comfort of their home country, or when they do, they just go on a cruise or for an vacation for a few weeks. They never have to face what it is to be categorized as "foreign" to be looked at with suspicion. We all have moments of experiencing "otherness" in social situations, but usually these are occasional and not quite the same as being a "foreigner". It is a loaded word.
I looked up forastero and extranjero. I have been called both and expect to hear a lot more of that in the coming year. Extranjero simply translates as foreign or foreigner, but forastero translates as alien, strange, stranger, outsider or visitor. In Mexico I will be both forastera y extranjera. No matter how much I've traveled, it is never a nice feeling.
My consolation is that I can always go home... I can't imagine not being able to go home. And I want to commend you again for you "Cuba Meditations" blog (which I check now and then for new entries and is how I found your "Foreigner" blog). It is a beautiful thing to make something about promise and new beginnings.
I hope your new year brings new revelations and new hope.
Thank you for your blog... I read your description of her reaction, and then envisioned how she might react if your face became more and more covered with ALL the things people have said in the past (or present) that make you feel like a foreigner. It is difficult to explain the weight of these off hand comments to someone who has never really experienced that kind of labeling. It makes me mad that you continually have to face these situations. I'm sure there are many people who share your sentiments and maybe someone saw your "Foreigner" peice online or in person and felt inspired or a sense of brotherhood.
Your post hit home for me because I have trouble explaining my ambivilence about living in Mexico to my friends and collegues. They just see the adventure and honor of getting the Fulbright (and I really DO appreciate these factors). Some have said that I must have fear of success, or fear of going somewhere new, or am just overwhelmed by all the details and enomity of foreign travel. But I am good at planning, have traveled a lot and have never had any fear of success.
I simply don't feel like going.
I know I will have a wonderful time. I am always having the best time of my life as usual. The problem is that, as you know, over the last five or six years I have really questioned what is valuable to me. It is simple, I value community, friends, family, good food, good work and physical outdoors activities. Everywhere I go, I have created a good life, full of these things... and then left (sometimes against my best intentions and desires to stay, because the tide of life has pushed me along or pulled me forward.) And here I go again.
I have everything I need right here in Tucson. I have worked hard to create a good life here. I belong here. I don't want to be a forastera again...
But the fact is that I did apply for and recieve the Fulbright and it is a great honor. The thrust of their program is to be a ambassador. However my project unfolds, I hope to be an ambassador of sincere compassion and humility. I hope to listen well…this is something I struggle with personally.
So, thank you for listening. And thank you for writing in your blog and otherwise. I know you are very busy and have to write all the time for school, so I don't expect to see a lot online. But I always look for anything new and cherish what you find the time to say.
Happy, productive wishes for the New Year,
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